Imagine you came to a restaurant where there is no menu, and the cook decides that you should like. Serve a pickle and a glass of vodka, although you thought about coffee. Absurd situation, true? The same thing happens when you do not tell your partner about your sexual desires. If you don’t know where to start, here are four topics for conversation.

Very often, couples who have problems in sex seek advice. Already during the first meetings, it becomes clear that communication was violated in pairs. Adults are not used to conducting frank conversations with partners. Such constraint and omissions can negatively affect sex. It’s not about goldenbet casino uk experience and not how compatible the temperaments of these people are, not in their feelings or attitude towards each other.

Когда такая пара оказывается в кабинете, проблема сразу бросается в глаза: разговор не клеится. There is a void with which it is completely impossible to work. It is much more effective to speak separately with such customers. One of them, having come to a session without a girl, shared his thoughts that he could not voice in her presence: “I do not feel her at all. She is so beautiful that I do not stop shy in front of her beauty. It always seemed to me that she allowed me to herself, and only. I guess I’m not a very good lover “.

The girl herself also doubted her sexuality and extolled her partner: “I have never been so good in bed. He feels me like that. But I’m terribly shy. I think I’m very blushing in certain positions. During an orgasm I try to control my facial expressions so as not to look terrible “.

What prevents partners who love and ready to shower each other with compliments alone with a psychologist, to talk about their feelings directly? “You someday told your husband how good you are with him?”” I praised him, but not very often … Sometimes it seems to me that if I say something like that, then he will see that I am not at all in sex. »In the absence of dialogue, our guesses and complexes replace the real opinion of the partner about us.

What are we afraid?

Almost always what you can’t talk about, is overgrown. Communication becomes more tense, difficulties and evil intent in the most trivial processes begin to imagine. Why are we afraid to talk about sex?

Most often, people fear that the partner will consider them too inexperienced or, conversely, too sophisticated and dissolved. We are afraid to hurt the partner or hear that something is wrong with us. Unfortunately, resentment during talk about sex arises quite often.

How and what to talk about?

The choice of contraception. There may be different opinions, and the couple needs to find a compromise. The health issue is very important, even if you protect yourself with a barrier type of contraception. Of course, the issues of freshness of analyzes for sexually transmitted diseases is a very delicate topic. Refusing to discuss this topic, we risk paying too high price for modesty.

The boundaries of the permitted and unreasonable in sex. Yes, not all experiments in bed we are ready. And this is absolutely normal. Good contact, both psychological and sexual, is possible only if partners are ready to hear each other and respect personal boundaries.

Technical and physiological parts of the process. What is pleasant for you, how the body speaks to certain gestures of the partner. It is good to build this part of the conversation in the format that I recommend using for feedback. You need to start with what you like, continue to change what I would like to change, and finish the plans for the future: “I like it when you …”, “I am not very comfortable when …”, “It will be great if you do it …”

Fantasies. This is the most exciting topic for conversations. You can discuss them both on the shore and in the process. If there is confidence that the partner will support your proposal, imagination can be whispering in the ear at the time of intimacy. However, we are all very different. Someone may like your idea to invite the third to sexual life, and for someone this proposal expressed at the time of proximity will be a painful blow to pride and erection. If you can’t say it directly, you can hint by sending a photo or video of a certain topic, send an article or refer to a conversation or experience of friends.